Sunday, February 4, 2018

Paradise Lost

I came to Paris looking for something and whatever it was I still haven't found it. I'm as lost here as I am anywhere, as much on the run as I've been all my life.

Christmas and New Year's came and went, I can't remember what I did or who I was with but my favorite dresses are all torn and the heels on my Chanel's, the ones I got from mother, are an inch shorter than they used to be. My phone is full of text messages I can't interpret and pictures I never took. I haven't even bothered checking my voice mail.

And on Sundays, while everyone is getting ready to pick up the remaining pieces of their lives, I'm still here, in the bar of some hotel, watching my reflection in the mirror as it changes into something I no longer recognize. I'm still here, starting to make up stories about the life I never knew I wanted to have.


  1. so how was your Super Bowl Sunday? just kidding. if they really are pictures you never took, you should look into that. like when I told my Apple Genius my ipad mini started typing on its own, he asked what exactly was being typed. it ended up being a pretty good ghost novel.

  2. I hope someday you find what you've been looking for.

  3. I know those hazy days all too well. I hope things clear up with the coming of sunlight and budding blossoms. Avy, please will you write a book! I would be the first to pre-order it <3

  4. Moments of clarity are few and far between. It's too easy to get lost, to stay lost and to never come up for air. I, too struggle to breathe while walking through this uncharted minefield called "life." So far I've managed to stay in one piece, but I always keep a roll of duct tape handy...just in case!

  5. 'starting to make up stories about the life I never knew I wanted to have.' These words..... hearts.