Thursday, February 2, 2017

Whatever makes it alright

Did January even happen? I might have slept through it with my eyes open, countless bottles of Burgundy wine emptying themselves on my bedside table. I had little choice after the Christmas I had, New Year's I can't even remember. I might have woken up in a two floor apartment off Boulevard Raspail but the details are fuzzy to say the least.

I also have several messages and missed calls from mother, all of them from 24 hours between January 1st and 2nd. Needless to say I never returned them. Whether it was a nightmare or something that actually occurred, the last time I saw her she told me to stop looking for men that remind her of my father.

I can't decide if Paris is the love of my love or a whore dressed in fishnet stockings and purple bustiers. Depends on my mood I guess, only I can't remember what I've felt over the past 30 days. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Maybe I'll end up like him, tired of everything, afraid of nothing, waiting in vain for something to burst in this hummingbird heard of mine.


  1. Only the whore in fishnets knows what love means. Purple is the color of Queens.

  2. Beautiful post!

  3. Incredible Avy... I wonder how you mother thinks she has the right to say you need to stop looking for your father in men... when she seems to ignore the truth around her... xox

  4. i've been having the strangest dream. i am Rasputin eating raspberries along Raspail. i eat as much as i want cos i have the metabolism of a hummingbird...

  5. Blessings:
    I read this and it reminded me of a saying i keep in my office by Dawna Markova called: I Will Not Die an Unlived Life from her book Reclaiming Purpose and Passion. Thought I'd share.

    I will not die an unlived life.
    I will not live in fear
    of falling or catching fire.
    I choose to inhabit my days,
    to allow my living to open me,
    to make me less afraid,
    more accessible;
    to loosen my heart
    until it becomes a wing,
    a torch, a promise.
    I choose to risk my significance,
    to live so that which came to me as seed
    goes to the next as blossom,
    and that which came to me as blossom,
    goes on as fruit.”

    Have a blessed one...

    “The highest education is that which does not merely give us information, but makes our life in harmony with all existence”-Rabindranath Tagore

  6. I've missed your writing...

  7. Time can fly by, especially while you're living it up! Live life to the full, and why not. Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

  8. Wow how i've missed your blog.
    I was in Paris just last month trying to make emotional amends with someone which now seem like a long lost hope.

  9. I think that's what we're all seeking, clarity.


  10. Beautifully written, Avy. Pretty blog overall.

  11. I love your photography. And I love your blog (new follower) (: That's all.

    xx Lorraine // <a href=">Laurel Crowned</a>

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