Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Pink like my heart

Every guy I ever met more than twice has insisted on buying me underwear. It started when I was 14 in LA and made a cute but all too fragile college freshman get me and Chloe alcohol. I knew he was in love with me but finally had to end it when he sent me a pair of stay-ups in the mail, with a handwritten note I've tried to forget ever since.

Some have better taste than others, but whatever they buy says something important about their personalities:

  • Anything from a generic brand: you will never end up writing a novel/become an actor like you say you want
  • Just a bra: you pretend like you know me just to get close enough to fuck me
  • A whole set: too pretentious for your own good
I've always preferred a pair of panties. It tells me you're honest about your intentions, and if you pick the right ones I might even consider letting you see me in them.

Pictured: the pair a friend of a friend discretely slipped into my coat pocket after dinner last night.


  1. i only have one pair of boxer shorts. what can i say, Stussy is a sturdy brand. waiting for them to dissolve off me...

    i was perusing past the mall the other day when i saw in the Hot Topic giftshoppe an offer for "Catfishnet Stockings". even i'm not that adventurous.

    i lied. i had an other pair of underwear...edible underwear...but i ate them cos i was hungry.

  2. I'm going to start doing this to straight men to see how they respond.

  3. I must commend this man's dexterity for being able to slip that in unnoticed. Kinda reminds me of the kind you and S would wear when you were alone on valentine's day while eating chocolates on your mother's bed. Time has been good to you, my friend. I wish I could say the same for myself.