Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue

I'm living life in a vacuum where there's no time or space. It's been so long since I lost track of the days and the hours, on my first morning here I threw my watch in the river from the Quai de la Tournelle. Sometimes I wake from the dreams but only for a heartbeat before I'm pulled back in to the haze and the stillness.

I watch people live their lives outside of mine, passing me in the street on their way somewhere. Maybe it's the Bourbon in my morning coffee that makes it look easy but in that fleeting heartbeat I imagine feeling exactly what they feel. Henry is my only consistent point of reference here, he got me underwear for Valentine's and for the first time even that made perfect sense.

My father on the roof of his childhood house with two options: fly or fall. It could have been over in a heartbeat.