Thursday, July 28, 2016

Petit monstre

I'm slowly gathering my thoughts behind closed blinds and sheer curtains. They help me keep my bedroom cool so I can sleep through these melting summer nights. I wear too much clothes in bed and drink too many bottles of wine in the mornings, but it's the only way I have of staying sane (or something close to it).

I'm replaying dinner with the neighbors in my mind, how they looked at me when I came in, wondering if I wore that pink underwear set underneath my bone white halter neck dress like they asked me to. "He wants to fuck you" she said, "and I will let him as long as I can watch".

I have to go back home soon but the thought of LA and Silver Lake scares me more than the dark woods between the sea and the mountains along this innocent coastline. I haven't seen mother in years now, she calls me sometimes but I ignore her and the voicemails she records. I have a feeling she just wants me to tell her that everything will be just fine.


10 comments:

  1. Let the voicemails come. It is her job to reassure you, not the other way around. Maybe India instead? Japan? South Africa? The world is full of places to hide.

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  2. Maybe you should talk to her, you never know.
    http://wiltedxfaded.blogspot.co.uk/

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  3. I love you always. Can you breathe in LA?

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  4. I sometimes hate it when people tell me that everything will be just fine. Cause that's not always the case. And more importantly about this moment right now. How does it ever give anyone any hope. Sometimes I feel that the world is a mockery.

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  5. I think you should talk to your mother but you are right, she shouldn't say everything is fine... as it isn't the truth more often then not xox

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    Replies
    1. It was not her mom to tell her this. It was her neighbour.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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