Monday, July 4, 2016

Hollywood youth

I've been writing and rewriting this post a million times but I'm struggling to find the right words (or any words at all). I've been anxious my whole life but this nagging feeling is something new. I'm afraid of the dark and the light, of shadows and sunshine. Of them and of myself.

I drink far too much thinking I'll be able to sleep but it doesn't work, not for more than an hour or two anyway. Instead I keep waking up unable to breathe, not knowing if it's night or day. I'd ask for help but I don't know what to tell them, other than to make it go away.

It might have been a dream but I think I talked to S and she told me to come back to LA. Maybe I have to, maybe it couldn't hurt, maybe it's what I'll eventually do as soon as I find a way out of this whirlwind.

12 comments:

  1. I think that Santa Barbara is a better choice than LA if things are "too close". Just a suggestion.

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  2. Go to LA... see S... I think you need a change xox

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  3. Maybe that's what's best to do right now. To remove all what ifs in the air.

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  4. Alcohol is just the worst for sleep. The slightest bump in the night and you're awake forever.

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  5. So what's the end of the story about your neighbors? Is it the reason you want to leave? Or is Henry the reason?

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  6. It's good to clear your head x
    http://wiltedxfaded.blogspot.co.uk/

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  7. Hugs. I call it the perpetual head fog. I hope you make it out.

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  8. First time I've been concerned about you in so many years of reading your life.

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  9. Yes, why not? Go and find out what's waiting for you there.

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  10. This is very clear and no one should need to wait more for this. www.celebsleather.com

    ReplyDelete

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