Wednesday, December 12, 2012

12 - "You disappoint me"

My mother is one of those people that have more money than they can ever spend but never worked a day to deserve it. No one knows where it came from, I asked my father once but he brushed the question aside and started talking about airplanes.

The little I know about her background (I never asked, she never told me) is that she escaped from Russia in her early teens and left her whole family behind. There's a black and white photo of her father, my grandfather, on her night stand. He's wearing a giant fur hat and a black overcoat, it's snowing and there's something in his eyes. If I didn't know better I'd say it looks like fear.

We attended a dinner party once, I was eleven or twelve and mother bragged about me wanting to become a lawyer. Afterwards, in the cab, I told her I wouldn't want to be a lawyer even if my life depended on it. "Oh, it does", she said melodramatically, placing her hand firmly on my shoulder. "So what is it you do" I asked, knowing it was a delicate subject. She took her eyes off me, put on her white leather gloves and uttered (for the first time) the theme of our future relationship:

"You disappoint me."


  1. I just love this blog post the most! The story, its just ... wow

  2. "if i didn't know better, I'd say it looks like fear."
    That's perfect
    I really liked this one, Avy. I can see her pulling on her white gloves as she says it.

  3. i have a pretty broken relationship with my mother too, and i've heard those words all too many times.

    great story.
    xxx scarzz

  4. Just perfect, Avy! I'm looking forward to reading more of it (:

  5. a side from different scenario and backgrounds, the whole russian and money thing is quite different on my story, but I can totally relate to that "you disappoint me" idea... here, they want me to be everything I am not.
    killer writing as usual.. take care!

  6. I can remember things like this when I was a child. Leaves its mark, I know, I see.
    But how you manage to describe it is fascinating, my little FitzGerald

  7. Your mothers kind of a brat. As always your writing is impeccable. I'm sorry you cant have the kind of loving relationship other people have with their own mothers. But somehow I feel if you didn't love her deep down you wouldn't still be there? I don't find you disappointing, Avy I find you fascinating.