Wednesday, December 12, 2012

12 - "You disappoint me"

My mother is one of those people that have more money than they can ever spend but never worked a day to deserve it. No one knows where it came from, I asked my father once but he brushed the question aside and started talking about airplanes.

The little I know about her background (I never asked, she never told me) is that she escaped from Russia in her early teens and left her whole family behind. There's a black and white photo of her father, my grandfather, on her night stand. He's wearing a giant fur hat and a black overcoat, it's snowing and there's something in his eyes. If I didn't know better I'd say it looks like fear.

We attended a dinner party once, I was eleven or twelve and mother bragged about me wanting to become a lawyer. Afterwards, in the cab, I told her I wouldn't want to be a lawyer even if my life depended on it. "Oh, it does", she said melodramatically, placing her hand firmly on my shoulder. "So what is it you do" I asked, knowing it was a delicate subject. She took her eyes off me, put on her white leather gloves and uttered (for the first time) the theme of our future relationship:

"You disappoint me."






8 comments:

  1. I just love this blog post the most! The story, its just ... wow

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  2. "if i didn't know better, I'd say it looks like fear."
    That's perfect
    I really liked this one, Avy. I can see her pulling on her white gloves as she says it.

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  3. i have a pretty broken relationship with my mother too, and i've heard those words all too many times.

    great story.
    xxx scarzz

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  4. Just perfect, Avy! I'm looking forward to reading more of it (:

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  5. a side from different scenario and backgrounds, the whole russian and money thing is quite different on my story, but I can totally relate to that "you disappoint me" idea... here, they want me to be everything I am not.
    killer writing as usual.. take care!

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  6. I can remember things like this when I was a child. Leaves its mark, I know, I see.
    But how you manage to describe it is fascinating, my little FitzGerald

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  7. Your mothers kind of a brat. As always your writing is impeccable. I'm sorry you cant have the kind of loving relationship other people have with their own mothers. But somehow I feel if you didn't love her deep down you wouldn't still be there? I don't find you disappointing, Avy I find you fascinating.

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