The little I know about her background (I never asked, she never told me) is that she escaped from Russia in her early teens and left her whole family behind. There's a black and white photo of her father, my grandfather, on her night stand. He's wearing a giant fur hat and a black overcoat, it's snowing and there's something in his eyes. If I didn't know better I'd say it looks like fear.
We attended a dinner party once, I was eleven or twelve and mother bragged about me wanting to become a lawyer. Afterwards, in the cab, I told her I wouldn't want to be a lawyer even if my life depended on it. "Oh, it does", she said melodramatically, placing her hand firmly on my shoulder. "So what is it you do" I asked, knowing it was a delicate subject. She took her eyes off me, put on her white leather gloves and uttered (for the first time) the theme of our future relationship:
"You disappoint me."
I just love this blog post the most! The story, its just ... wow
ReplyDelete"if i didn't know better, I'd say it looks like fear."
ReplyDeleteThat's perfect
I really liked this one, Avy. I can see her pulling on her white gloves as she says it.
my roommate could've written this.
ReplyDeletei have a pretty broken relationship with my mother too, and i've heard those words all too many times.
ReplyDeletegreat story.
xxx scarzz
Just perfect, Avy! I'm looking forward to reading more of it (:
ReplyDeletea side from different scenario and backgrounds, the whole russian and money thing is quite different on my story, but I can totally relate to that "you disappoint me" idea... here, they want me to be everything I am not.
ReplyDeletekiller writing as usual.. take care!
I can remember things like this when I was a child. Leaves its mark, I know, I see.
ReplyDeleteBut how you manage to describe it is fascinating, my little FitzGerald
Your mothers kind of a brat. As always your writing is impeccable. I'm sorry you cant have the kind of loving relationship other people have with their own mothers. But somehow I feel if you didn't love her deep down you wouldn't still be there? I don't find you disappointing, Avy I find you fascinating.
ReplyDelete