He walked me home from school once, it was late and he asked me if I was afraid of the dark. I don't remember what I said but we came to spend a lot of our time together like that, in the dark, listening to Rolling Stones albums on his bed, driving around in his car, taking long walks through the woods surrounding our summer house.
He fell in love with me and I pushed him away, years later when we met again I started calling him Carl. He never asked me why but I think he understands. Our history is a minefield and there are so many things I still want to ask him.