Monday, June 11, 2012

Monday you can fall apart

Chloe gets up at 7 in the morning and leaves for work 45 minutes later. Sometimes she wakes me, purposely or not, sometimes I join her for breakfast and we talk about nothing and the weather over coffee (and a little Bourbon). When she's in the shower I sometimes talk to mother, if she's home and awake.

Sometimes, after they've both left, I get back into bed and try to fall asleep again, just to distance myself from the constantly surfacing mental images: me as a child on a tall chair in the kitchen, my feet don't yet reach the floor. I read the business section of the Los Angeles Times without understanding much, just to make him proud of me.

He sits casually across the table, my father, and he smiles at me. In a few minutes he's taking me to school and this early morning ritual, the time we spend together, will be over. At least for now, I'd think, and there was always a tomorrow until suddenly there wasn't.

"No happy endings, Avy", he said.






42 comments:

  1. your blog and your texts are just fascinating. I love to read it!
    kisses from the bottom of the sea

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  2. love your photos!!

    follow me backk?

    http://tainted-feathers.blogspot.co.uk/

    xx

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  3. One of the themes I always dig about your blog is this conflict we often seem to have in life between the memory of a good thing, and the memory of that good thing ending. It's the human condition. I enjoy how you explore it.

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  4. Wow. I found this so poignant. I used to do the same thing- "read" the paper when I thought my father was watching, just to impress him. An amazing post, an amazing memory and so sad too.

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  5. Lovely images!

    GTBB,
    Bad Joan
    http://badjoan.blogspot.com

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  6. wow... I just cried a bit... I love your posts... I can imagine absoultely every word you wrote...

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  7. friday, we will be in love again, Avy.

    xx
    L.

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  8. amazing pictures, breathtaking beauty (yours)

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  9. Ahh-mazing pics ^^
    see my blogs too

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  10. Wow, your writing is really poignant, there's something about it that's really endearing and mysterious. I read all the posts on your homepage, and am hooked, so I'm your new follower :)

    www.iwastakenbysurprise.blogspot.com
    xx

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  11. I am beginning to wonder that myself.

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  12. wow that was some powerful writing..

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  13. avy, thank you. when i was writing these few lines, i was indeed thinking of you, because i do know that you can understand. as belle would and your darling friend S., i suppose.

    still i often feel disconnected. from "my" world as from the world so many so happily move in. do you sometimes wish you were just born into - let's say - a slightly more "normal" family?
    ha, but whose is, and whose isn't, right?

    Much Love,
    L.

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  14. Really interesting. Love the photos. Thought provoking.

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  15. Thanks for your comment on my blog,
    Sending you lots of love too,
    I love your blog x

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  16. I want you to be my writing teacher; your words are perfect as always.
    Ashley x

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  17. thanks for visiting my blog. Really nice writing !

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  18. For me, it’s shaving. To those olden days.

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  19. again really captivated by your writing style. following your blog now. can't wait to read more.

    rae

    http://www.loveforschoolgirl.net/

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  20. Painfully beautiful. The way you write, it's like nothing else I've ever read :]

    @Tales of her and by her.
    &
    @Teenage Babblings
    xx

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  21. Great! You made me addicted to your writing ! I want mooore

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  22. Great photos and texts, am glad I cam by your blog.
    xoxo

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  23. I love the text and the photos :)
    xx

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  24. beautiful photos *-*
    http://dandystags.blogspot.com/ c:

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  25. love it love it!!!i'm a new follower and i'm going to visit you more often ;)

    www.roxycieniawska.blogspot.com

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  26. He doesn't dictate your happiness. You are more.

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  27. You probably hear this loads but your writing is amazing! I really love your blog and can't wait to read more.
    Thanks so much for commenting on my blog as well x

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  28. i love black and white pictures and these ones are sooo fab !
    xx
    www.vnikali.com

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  29. I love your stories to the pictures

    wonderful writing!

    http://naked-trash.blogspot.de/

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  30. aww love your pictures! <3

    http://wishuponasmile.blogspot.co.uk/

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  31. cool pics!
    take a look at my blog and follow if you like it ;)
    kisses from Spain,
    S

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  32. This is such a great post. I love it!!! A gorgeous selection of images!!!
    Best Regards
    Miss Margaret Cruzemark
    http://margaretcruzemark.blogspot.com/

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  33. Beautiful text, well done!

    www.fashiable.nl

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  34. Beautiful text and photos,

    www.constance-victoria.blogspot.com

    x

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  35. Hey there! I just found your blog and I'm your newest follower! I'd love if you followed back maybe and checked out a huge international giveaway I’m having right now!

    Hope to see you there! Thanks so much!
    Emily

    http://emilymmeyers.blogspot.com/2012/07/chi-bling-giveaway-winner.html

    ReplyDelete

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