Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Abandoned places

Mother, as jaded as she became somewhere along the line, still knows how to throw a spectacular dinner party. She cares about the little things and spends hours setting the table, decorating the dining room with colorful lights and arranging fresh flowers in her Lalique crystal vases.

This past weekend she invited her most expensive friends and told Chloe and me we could stay if we would just keep quiet. After three hours of listening to mindless monologues we managed to escape out into the fresh Manhattan night air and walked to a club downtown. Chloe looked so happy in the tattooed arms of a thirty-something clothing designer, I ended up finding someone to sleep with and never call again.

I woke up on Sunday morning with his heartbeats next to mine, and I've never felt more alone. It reminded me of the boy I left behind in LA, the one I grew up with up and who still loves me for some reason. My Carl. That Sunday morning in someone's bed, between someone's sheets, he was closer to me than the someone that held me with his arms wrapped tight around me. I could almost hear his voice from across the wasteland as I put my clothes on and walked out into the sleeping streets unnoticed.

"Avy", he whispered inside my head, "that could have been you and I".








54 comments:

  1. Feeling so alone yet surrounded by people, my heart feels that too x

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  2. "I woke up on Sunday morning with his heartbeats next to mine, and I've never felt more alone."
    That'd stay with me.

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  3. i wish you'll find that something. something that will bring true happiness and make you whole. and someone that won't let you feel alone.

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  4. Great blog! Hope you visit mine!

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  5. To is hard when we can't shake someone out of our system.

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  6. I'm absolutely in love with your fabulous blog and those amazing stories! There are so many feelings flying around..
    kisses from the bottom of the sea

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  7. You narrate stories in a manner that they linger on long after they are read ... fabulous !!!

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. *sorry, something went wrong... :S

    "I woke up on Sunday morning with his heartbeats next to mine, and I've never felt more alone."
    Beautiful... I could imagine how that felt while I was reading it..

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  10. I listened to a song that I hadn't heard in years today - the soundtrack of an old love, hundreds of miles and years away now and my heart ached. Your post brought that same sort of longing back to me xxx

    PS The dress, the mask, the mirror - all beautiful.

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  11. Wow this is amazing!
    Love your writing

    Laura x

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  12. Your are a AMAZING writer Avy!! :)

    xoxo

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  13. well if it could have been, then why isn't it? my fave line is: ..."I could almost hear his voice from across the wasteland"...

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  14. Beautiful text, you really have great writing talent!
    Thank you for your comment, I hope I'll see you soon again!
    Happy Wednesday!
    Jelena

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  15. do you think we will become like that? hosting perfect dinner parties...? and it will it be the same wastelad as ever?

    love

    L.
    PS. we are that girl.

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  16. You've got awesome pictures on your blog! I really like them!

    Daria from www.cinnamon-star.blogspot.com

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  17. I miss NYC when I read this. Boo!

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  18. lovely pictures :) Im heading to NYC next june!!


    xoxo, Alee

    http://aleemerican.blogspot.com P.S NEW POST!

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  19. Theme parties are the best- so misterious

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  20. Wow, you're an incredible writer. I read right through this. Great start and everything. :)

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  21. I enjoy reading your posts! This story was well written - although a bit sad. :/

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  22. been loving reading your blog*

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  23. another lovely post! awesome!

    <3

    ps. you can now win a $50 giftcard from The Dark Horse Jewellery on our blog, today is the last chance to enter!

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  24. ohmyyygosh. my heart just stopped beating. love, love, love, this and i am SO GLAD i found my way here ♥

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  25. I love your funky blog!
    Chiara
    http://effenshion.blogspot.com

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  26. love the mask you're wearing in the top picture <3

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  27. You seem so beautiful and alone....
    Is is silly if I ask you why didn you leave him?

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  28. another amazing post. Your writing is just plain...beautiful. And the pictures you add is just the cherry on top!

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  29. Great pics !!!

    Kiss from France
    Follow me i follow you back !!!!
    http://melle-lunettes.blogspot.fr/

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  30. I can't even take it how great of a writer you are! You always just leave something to the imagination in such an intriguing way. xx Pip

    http://easyoutfitsbypip.blogspot.com

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  31. I absolutely love your photos, Following u now! please follow back

    http://vjstyle-online.blogspot.com/

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  32. Wow this is a very beautifully written blog. I think it is totally unique. Love the creativity that flows here. And also love the pictures/images that go along with it!

    kat
    aneyeforfashion.blogspot.com

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  33. Thank you for the comment on my blog.
    I arrived here yesterday and started reading all your posts... I would like to be able to express myself in English as you do. Beautiful blog.
    I started to follow you. You will love me forever? You have promised!!

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  34. i just started reading your blog and i am hooked Please check out my blog and follow me http://fashionfun-otherdrugs.blogspot.co.uk/

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  35. Incredible blog, adore it! Followed.

    Bisous, S
    http://champagneandcedarwood.blogspot.com

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  36. These are such beautiful yet haunting pictures. Your life is like a fairytale.

    SIDEWALKCATWALKS.com

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  37. I'm glad I found your blog, thanks for visiting me, your writing is painful but I love to read it. I am amazed that you can express your voice in written words because how I would terribly like to but I coulnd't as I want it to be, despite true or not. I'm following your blog

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  38. super lovely blog. would be happy if you take a look on mine too :) and tell me what you think <3

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  39. It went very well! I know my results after a week ;)
    I really love your writing! And your pictures have something magical...

    *X*

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  40. Is it terrible that the hopeless romantic in me wants Carl to magically show up or for you to get on a plane to LA stat?

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  41. your blog is really cool and i love that photo of you x

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  42. Really cool blog!

    http://fashion-by-anita.blogspot.com/

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  43. really great dear :)
    xx the cookies
    samecookiesdifferent.blogspot.com
    share the feeling
    visit <3

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  44. I am so glad I came across your blog. Your writings and stories are so poetic and magical.

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  45. Witam bloggerkę! Pewnie nie brałaś jeszcze udziału w moim konkursie? Dziś jest ostatni dzień, ale jeszcze masz szansę. Do wygrania jest biżuteria, która możesz wybrać sama. Dla ułatwienia podaję link: http://raroika.blogspot.com/2012/06/konkurs.html . Pozdrawiam, Raroika! :*

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  46. You really are such a perfectly eloquent writer.
    I recently stumbled across your blog and I LOVE it! Your blog is simply the epitome of perfection! I am your newest, most avid follower, I look forward to reading your future posts. I would love it if you could perhaps follow me back too? Have a lovely day!

    Love from, MISSIFFA

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  47. Stunningly eloquent. You said so much in so little. Absolutely loved it.

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  48. You are an enigma and your words speak volumes of the mysterious life you lead Avy. your posts are always comforting to read.

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  49. you're a really good writer..i enjoy to read your blog!!

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