Monday, April 16, 2012

It happened in Monterey

Another week and I'm living my life somewhere in between worlds, just like mother. Yesterday's dinner and the old friends we met reminded me of how she's not always been this way. Her past was so much simpler and more modest, the people she knew less polished and posh, and I still wonder what happened to change all that.

We knocked on the door of the Greenwich Village apartment at exactly 7 PM, a barefooted man with circular sunglasses and long tangles of wispy hair in his face opened, gave mother a warm hug and shook my hand the way you do with a child. The place was scarcely furnished and smelled subtly of marijuana, I'm used to it from back home and expected nothing less.

Mother slided into the living room, lit a candle placed in a vintage wine bottle and sat back in the couch only to jump up again at the sound of the doorbell. "Oh my God, Frank!" she yelled and threw her arms around a tall man in a worn jean jacket. They hugged for what felt like an eternity before she introduced me, still short of breath from rambling terms of endearment in falsetto.

After hours of political discussions I went home alone, mother stayed behind in the pot haze and came back earlier this morning, seemingly happy. "He's just a friend" she mumbled, "one I haven't seen in many years". I hadn't asked but immediately came to think of Carl. I don't know what he is to me now, but I can't go much longer without talking to him.


  1. i hope you're able to find your way out of the limbo you seam to be in. and i really hope things work out with carl, you deserve to be so happy!

  2. Well, first of all, lemme tell you your pic is one of the most mysterious and fabulous pics of yours least for me. <3 Loved it entirely!

    And you know what? When I read about the tall man and the way they hugged each other, even I was reminded of Carl and wondered if you had a thought of it too. And you really did!
    I love it when I form an association with what goes on your mind and not just your writings! :) Love you!

  3. You are always success stealing my attention by your words. Amazing! I am glad you had time to reply my email as well..


  4. I also sometimes feel like being between two worlds, it's nice to read about the ways others deal with it.

  5. I love your text. really helped me, always thaught I would be the only strange one out there, but actually I'm not :D

  6. Actually you're not going to understand a thing from that girl's blog, because everything is write in my native language... but whatever, here is the link with that post. She's the one in white. One dumb-ass told her that she's fat...
    Anyways great post. I want to know who's that Frank that your mother hugged. Maybe that man is an important piece of the puzzle. Maybe...
    Have a great week.

  7. I LOVE,LOVE,LOVE the first picture! So perfect! You still in dilemma,huh? God bless you,my girl. Love.:-)

  8. Hi! I really like your blog, it’s so inspiring ♥
    My name is Elena, I am an aspiring alternative model and have just started my blogspot. Could you check it out and tell me what you think?
    I will certainly follow you back if you do by the way,
    Go on blogging my dear!
    x Cheers

  9. I enjoy reading your posts so much!
    Lovely pictures and you write so beautifully <3

    I hope things work out for you and Carl.
    Have a wonderful day!

  10. cute!!!

  11. I hope things work out for you, life does always have it’s more complicated parts. I’m runing a Clinique giveaway at the moment, thought you might want to take a look, might give you a bit of a cheer up.
    Take Care xx

  12. Love reading your blog and love the photos you put with your posts. Beautiful!


  13. You write really well! Gorgeous photos! xo

  14. I love all these images, do you do any filters for your editing? They have such a cool almost green haze to them!

    Alexandra xo

  15. Hello!
    I think you have so
    beautiful pictures!
    I love it!!! :)

  16. Amazing pictures!
    I start following u on Bloglovin (#3), hope you'll follow back!!!


  17. That pictures are really good, always have lovely pics! i left you a surprise at my blog, hope you like it dear! :)

  18. Please find a child picture of yourself, pin it to your fridge or by your bedside. Look at it daily and tell yourself that if no one gave you the love and care you needed as a child, that you will be the one to provide this to yourself.

    Use your talent to bask in happiness. It's easy to get stuck in the spiral of melancholy; it's addictive and a false comfort.

    Practice smiling when you remember, it sends good messages to our brains and helps us become happy. Don't follow in your parent's footsteps. Use them as a reminder that you can do better. Love and them and forgive them but use your intelligence to guide you to better things. You are smart; you are wise. Chose well.

  19. great blog!!!
    let's follow each other?

  20. beautiful blog.
    xx, M

  21. I just found your blog....
    Cool name for it haha