Thursday, March 29, 2012

À la recherche du temps perdu

Mother, still stubbornly acting as if nothing is new, insists I should get a job. "You can't live off my money forever" she says, but the way she says it (not really condescending but without any sense of self-awareness) makes me seriously consider just that as an alternative. When I'm spiteful I feel like telling her about all of you that have asked me to write a book, just to see her freeze at the thought of the scandals such a book could result in.

Not much else has happened. I went out to buy lilies yesterday and for the first time I felt lost amidst all this steel, stone and concrete. I love the sound of pavement under high heels and yellow cabs rushing past skyscrapers over streets and avenues, but sometimes in the gray those childhood memories come back to me, like a splinter in my mind: running barefoot in high sun-drenched grass, picking spring flowers and chasing butterflies over the fields around our summer house.

They were loving times, so heartbreakingly truthful and real, but like everything else they couldn't last forever. It has to be life's saddest and most definite tragedy, that nothing beautiful survives and that all that can be left of it in the end is the ashes, the smoldering charcoal and, for as long as we're alive, the haunting memories of times that have passed and will never come back.



23 comments:

  1. so do you think you will write the book then? have you ever dreamed of the wind taking the ashes while they scatter through the air, or a phoenix rising from them?

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  2. I will definitely buy your book! The last phrase is one of the best I've ever heard. "nothing beautiful survives and that all that can be left of it in the end is the ashes".
    I noticed that you write just when you're sad. Cheer up. I mean, I don't even know you, but the way that you write, makes me to believe that you're a wonderful person, and you don't deserve so much sorrow!
    xx

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  3. I, too, would buy your book. And maybe another copy. And then buy more to distribute. Because yes.

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  4. I would definitely buy your book! You are clearly naturally talented, and I would recommend you go for it! You never know what could happen until you try :)

    Love from, THE EASTERN PEARL

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  5. love the photos! lovely blog .. hope u can visit mine and follow each other? x

    http://giobusato.blogspot.com

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  6. You definitely should write a book. You are a really great writer. xx

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  7. its out of question avy. you will. for sure. never thought you would NOT write one.

    xxx

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  8. the only person that knows what's best for you, is you. your voice, your choice.

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  9. You write so beautifully - that a book would be such a beautiful gift for all your readers.

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  10. Yes, it has to be that way. It has to be the saddest thing, so that we'll appreciate good ones.

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  11. the peaks of not thinking, the lows of reminiscing

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  12. What a lovely blog! I would like to invite you to me :) Follow each other? =]

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  13. i just discovered your blog and have to say that i really really like it soooo i'm following you now :)
    you write in a beautiful talented way!
    hope you have a great weekend
    sunnie

    whyfuckingnot.blogspot.com

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  14. You officially have the best blog name ever!. Haha x

    www.wabie-daily.blogspot.com stop by sometimes fash heads!
    W. X

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  15. your blog makes me sad- in a good way though.

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  16. i know avy, riding my bike with my bff and
    pressing flowers with my other next-door bff...
    just reading the day away super happy over
    mom's dessert.

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  17. True.

    Change
    Is the only continuity.

    Cheers

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  18. wo.. those photos are stunning! i loved the last one, is kind of wild and sweet! gorgeous sweetie!

    www.meryswardrobe.blogspot.com

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  19. Très jolies photos :) J'aime beaucoup cette vue de ville.

    Bonne continuation.

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  20. The photos you share on your posts are insane! Very artistic.. Especially the last one- it's my favorite.

    xx
    Elena- blue velvet

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