For most people, the new year is a chance to start over again and forget all past mistakes and grievances. For mother it's just another reminder that she's not young anymore. For a week now she's been walking around the house like a zombie, dead quiet, systematically emptying her Madeira bottles one by one.
I'm afraid to say anything so I keep quiet too, pretending I'm fine when in reality it wears me down seeing her so sad. I'm afraid of what will happen when she can't hold it all inside anymore and her history blows up in both our faces. I know of so much that she's never told me, never wanted to talk about and nervously denied that one time I dared ask.
But then I wake up and I see that there are 1000 of you now. The love I keep getting from all of you means the world, it's that chance to start all over again and a reminder that there is a light that never goes out. Tell me something I didn't know about yourselves and make me smile once more.