Tuesday, January 31, 2012

They tell me I'm doing fine

I wish I could send flowers to each and every one of you. Thank you darlings. I'm fine. Chloe called to ask me where I went, I lied and said I left because I was tired. "Let's get together tomorrow" she said. "Me, you and Carl". I had to say yes.

It's funny, I keep hearing people say how their biggest regrets are the things they never did. I think about it every time a stranger catches my interest and I have to decide whether to tap them on the shoulder or not. Nothing scares me more than a clear view of the future so I hardly ever do, not because it's easier but because that romanticized image of what could have happened is so hopelessly inciting.

And I want it to be the same way with Carl. I want it to be so that I can see him again and carelessly drift away, fantasizing about us together like in a distant dream, alone on his bed in the dark listening to Let it bleed as if for the first time. Tomorrow I'll know.

15 comments:

  1. I'm much more excited about how it goes than you probably are.
    Love you! :) <3

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  2. Avy you're amazing :) stay strong!

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  3. That was so lucid without being simplistic!I can totally relate to it."not because it's easier but because that romanticized image of what could have happened is so hopelessly inciting.",so true!You couldn't be closer to my heart!Love.

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  4. I'm lately invested in your blog. So much more than any other personal blog I've ever read. I'm hooked. I wish you love, and happiness and peace; you deserve these things Avy. xx

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  5. One of my favorite things I used to do was fantasize about my first love and imagine meeting him once again. This brought back memories for me and how I used to feel! I hope it goes well! xx

    Pip
    http://chicstayathome.blogspot.com

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  6. The endless conversations you would have in your head with him and then finnaly when you see him the words just never come out. Happens to the very best of us my dear.

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  7. LOVE YOUR BLOG!! IF YOU WANT FOLLOW ME ON GOOGLE FRIENDS AND I WILL BE HAPPY TO FOLLOW YOU BACK <3
    XOXO
    A_C'EST MOI
    LAMODEOUICESTMOI.BLOGSPOT.COM

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  8. Stay strong, girl. Your blog is awesome.
    I wish you luck.

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  9. thank you for the sweet comment dear <3

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  10. Sometimes the fantasy we dream of doesn't live up to the reality. We have a way of building that fantasy up - way beyond what it actually is. I had a much similar experience when I was in my teens to late twenties with a guy I was "in love" with, broke up with and subsequently moved on.

    It's when the fantasy gets in the way of life and doesn't allow you to move on.... or feel that a relationship you have at present doesn't live up to your fantasy, or a situation you are in now isn't as good as what it could be...that is when it can be a dangerous thing.

    Nothing wrong with dreaming. It's what leads us to do big things. Just don't let it overrule your happiness.

    Good luck and I wish you only the best!

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  11. follow me:
    www.aleksandres.blogspot.com :)

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  12. I totally know what you mean sweetheart, I do. Dreaming is amazing, I couldn't live without it, and neither should you.

    You write so amazingly well.

    Xo, Imke

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  13. Stay strong dear. Love reading your blog.

    Kisses from Norwegian model, blogger and student
    http://karolinekalvo.blogspot.com

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  14. Just found your blog, I'll admit that I stopped by because I think you have the best blog name in the universe and I couldn't NOT come to your page. Now I'm excited to go back and read but I wanted to stop by and say hello. Loving it so far.

    xoJordan
    www.shinypaperblog.com

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