Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Is it getting better, or do you feel the same?

Carl. Mother hasn't approved of him since that day I came home from school and said I was in love with an older man (I was 9, he was 10). I was intrigued by his quietness and communicated with hasty lipstick kisses on the door of his locker. Sometimes he walked me home, sometimes we sat together on his bed in the dark, listening to Let it bleed. When I modeled endless skirts and dresses from mother's wardrobe he looked away every time I changed, a perfect little gentleman in gray Diesel jeans and a scarf carefully wrapped around that boyish neck of his.

I don't know when he fell for me, he never even told me that he did. I noticed it gradually and pushed him away, this was years later and we had just started talking again after what I did to him that dreadful summer in the country house.

Now I feel I need him again, and not just as a friend. I only wish I knew how to tell him that.

25 comments:

  1. I had to read this over and over; parallel to how these same thoughts consume my mind

    I don't know. is there a way to show him rather than telling?

    xx

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  2. If you've been friends since you were children I'm sure you can tell him anything love. Sometimes it is easier to show someone you care though, and actions speak louder than words, every single time.

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  3. send him a link to your blog.

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  4. You write so beautifully..

    Just muster up the courage and tell him :)

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  5. i love your writing. your voice, more so. just beautiful.

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  6. Avy, you always did. You always needed him! Its just that you didn't/couldn't understand it. He's been there. For you. I'm glad you realized it now. :)

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  7. You write beautiful things. Why don't you contact him?

    xoxo
    www.thefashionmoodboard.com

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  8. you should totally contact him! Or send him a link to your blog!

    x

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  9. lovely eloquent writing darling
    ~natasha
    http://anorthamericanrobbin.blogspot.com/

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. Poignant introspections. It's scary to let yourself to vulnerable, isn't it? I'd say to reach out, but then again heartache produces some beautiful art and prose...

    -Joe

    covertocoverblog.blogspot.com

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  12. Beautiful post.. I think you should contact him

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  13. Just do it (:
    Thanks for your comment

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  14. thanks for commenting on my blog, but it wasn't a clock, it was a watch actually.

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  15. Avy, I've nominated you for The Kreative Blogger Award! :)
    Congratulations!

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  16. WOW congrats:D
    xx
    www.vnikali.blogspot.com

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  17. Send his your blog link, and if he's a smart one, he'll understand!

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  18. Love your blog! Very creative writing!

    http://fashionroll.net

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  19. it's always so hard to tell someone something like this, but if you never try you'll never know--I'm with the others send him your blog link and let your words do all the talking. beautiful as always.

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  20. Sometimes there is no getting back the past.

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  21. I really like the way the photograph is blurred, almost linking with the linear qualities in the dress.
    www.theorangewalls.blogspot.com

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