I call him Carl, he has another name but I stopped using it over night years ago. He never asked me why. Lately he's let his hair grow long, and when he wears the dark gray D&G jeans I bought him for his birthday he looks really handsome, in a Milo Ventimiglia sort of way.
When I'm down I sometimes call him and he picks me up with his car. We usually just end up driving in silence, and he makes me feel safe again just by looking at me in the rear view mirror. I guess it's my way of remembering a time when it felt like nothing could ever get to me, and of forgetting how all that suddenly changed.