Saturday, October 1, 2011

Maybe I don't really wanna know

9 PM, Los Angeles wakes up again. Chloe wants to go out but I'm sick of happy faces so I call my dear friend, the one that loves me. I did something terrible to him once years ago but he never left me. I know I don't deserve it but then again, who does?

He drives and I sit quietly in the backseat. Those flaming forests along the road are always on my mind somehow, but all that's left now is the ashes of last month's fires. It smells the same but everything else is different, as if it never really happened, as if we were never there together. Nothing scares me more now than the thought of forgetting. I try to remember but all that comes to mind is the fear of losing him, of being left alone in the rubble. Maybe I already knew.

I want him to drive until the sun comes up again, but he tells me I need to go home. I love the color of his eyes as he looks at me in the darkness.


  1. "sick of happy faces," i seriously want to incorporate that phrase into my vocabulary. the last 2 sentences of your post are my favorite. i also really like the flaming forests, & the ashes left from the fires a month ago.

  2. People cling to each other in strange ways, that is what makes life interesting though sometimes.

  3. There was s time in my life I want to drive with no destination just to feel free, driving from the midnight until the sunrise...


  4. Lovely post Avy,reading your blog just makes my day better <3