Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Blessed states

4th of July, mother drags me out to celebrate my dependence on her, or maybe her independence from me, I'm not sure. She's not drunk but looks at the fireworks like a child, like they really meant something to her. They did to me too, once, but then I grew up and the world around me changed into something I had trouble understanding.

We used to go out, the three of us, hand in hand and just be quiet. The sky above us would explode and I remember feeling immensely liberated and hopeful. My father would squeeze my hand, so lightly it was barely noticeable, but it always meant that everything would be all right in the end.

And now it seems like a fairytale, slowly evaporating from my memory like the ideals we once held as sacred. Nothing makes me more afraid than the thought of forgetting, nothing more sad than seeing what has become of the dreams we once shared.



27 comments:

  1. Hey! You shouldn't look for God. Just look around with open heart, it's everywhere, even a piece of dog's shit is full of God ;D

    You have very interessting blog, it sucked me in. A bit depressing may I say, but who says we all have to be shiny happy people?

    I will follow you (:

    Peace and love!

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  2. and every word & paragraph she wrote i adore.

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  3. sometimes only such memories give us hope and keep us alive.

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  4. Teenage life stories are more or less similar. You're not alone for having to feel what you must be feeling. Just look around.. Explore a new world that can not only satisfy yourself but also inspire. There's absolutely no one better than you to inspire yourself.

    As usual, loved your post! :)
    Take care!

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  5. You write so beautifully. Its lovely to read your posts, even if they're rather sad.

    http://oliviadollydaydream.blogspot.com/

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  6. You have an amazing blog, dear! So glad I found it! So thank you for your lovely comment on my pictures!
    I'll follow you for sure!! :)

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  7. your writing style is beautiful :) I love it :)
    and also I love that banner in your blog ;)

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  8. Awwwww i agree nothing's worst than remembering nothing.. I so love reading your posts.. I am following you now.. No newd for you to follow back.. Just write more posts for us.. Take care

    lovelybulatao.blogspot.com

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  9. hi girl, first of all happy 4th july!!
    second, i'm your new follower, you've a great blog
    third... love the picture hahahaha
    xoxo
    http://lejournaldeprada.blogspot.com
    Wait you!

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  10. oh i read that post, and feel with you. i never like when things change for the worse, but that's the hard part about growing old, how things are not what they seemed when one were a kid.. when it comes to a lot of things. it's sad. i wish i was a little kid still. it's so comfortable being naive.
    take care
    x

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  11. lovely post and I'm loving your new template :)

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  12. hey avy,
    that's very sad. maybe its just better to remember those times as happy times and look ahead with new dreams.

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  13. Try not to let the old memories be tarnished by what a "tradition" has now become. Shared dreams are hard to hold with so many hands.

    And thank goodness this isn't just another happy blog about pies, or knitting :)

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  14. what a poignant story... definitely following.

    stop by sometime?

    rena.

    http://themoonchildco.blogspot.com

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  15. j'aime ça
    xoxo

    http://streetitgirl.blogspot.com/

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  16. This is so lovely and sad. I'm afraid of forgetting too, even though the sting of remembering how things once were can be excruciating.

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  17. I love your blog. Although this post is sullen, I think that it is great in the sense that it is incredibly inwardly thoughtful. Not many people can be look at themselves and record it in such taste and with such talent. Great blog. Write on!

    please come and check out my music website, The Internet Garbage, and leave some feedback if you get the chance! I would greatly appreciate it.

    http://www.theinternetgarbage.com

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  18. COOL BLOG!;)

    http://jula-locanina.blogspot.com/

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  19. Thanks for stopping by my blog:) http://jg-newart.blogspot.com/

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  20. yes, i know :D thank you :) ♥

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  21. Yes, it's a little thing of my daily, it's very useful for everything and I am used to this so I can't separate now! And it's a metaphor for my best friend who is in the picture, she is very important in my life!
    sorry for my bad english.. I hope you understand!

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  22. If those good memories are so important to you, you´ll never forget ;)

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  23. Hi!

    Thanks for the lovely comment! Your header is beautiful and great title, too!

    I love the look of fireworks, but I hate the noise. I know it would be pointless, but I wish they were silent. They terrify my kitties and they make my neighbours puppy cry frantically!

    Hope you have a great rest of the week! <3. XXX.

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  24. thank you very mutch !!
    Yours is too!

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