Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Narcoleptic insomniac

Another hot and sunny day in Los Angeles comes to an end, one of so many that all seem exactly alike. The only thing reminding me that time passes is the potted flowers in my window, slowly dying because no one cares enough to give them the water and attention they need.

There is no band.

I'm beginning to realize that living without mom for so many months, alone in this large house, was turning me into a chronic sleepwalker. I spent too much time wearing her vintage dresses, reading her books, polishing her collection of antique dolls. Maybe it meant that I missed her, and I don't know why but since she got back I'm dreaming again, and memories of feelings I once had are coming together, fragment by fragment.

Il n y'a pas d'orchestre.

I guess you can never truly feel alive in an emotional vacuum, so as much as I blame my mother for all of her shortcomings, I'm almost glad she's home again. It's slowly bringing me back to reality, whatever that is.


  1. Another sunny day feels far away....in Stockholm we have snow.

  2. Thanks for visiting! L.O.V.E From Stockholm

  3. Mothers have a way of bringing a daughter back. I would know, my mum has these so-called shortcomings.. yet she's always there to pick me up. xx

  4. I've noticed an absence of other people around does tend to make my life a little abstract and dreamy. My mother and reality seem to go hand-in-hand. I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way...

  5. Yes a very warm day indeed. Just south of you so same weather here.
    Glad your mom's return is a positive thing.
    I am very close to my mom, but when we spent 4.5 months last year together day in day out we drove each other nuts and our relationship detoriated. I was glad that when we returned to our normal living situtaitons everything was back to normal. It is hard to live with a mom once you reach a certain age I think. It is probably good your mom comes and goes.

  6. Thanks for your lovely comment :)
    Very nice blog!<3