Thursday, February 17, 2011

The only living girl in New York

My darling readers.

I'm home again, reading your sweet comments, smiling humbly. Thank you all so very much, and forgive me in advance for what you can't already know.

I went to New York because I thought my mother actually had something important to tell me, but I was wrong. In the midst of her rambling I tried to map her emotional state, unsucessfully. She thinks that she cares for me, but she only does it for her own sake, never really bothering to find out how I'm feeling or even who I am.

She wants me to love her simply because she's my mother, but I need a better reason than that. I need her to try harder and deserve my love, unconditional or not, either way. But her world doesn't function like that. In it, she's the sun and everything around her is there for the sole purpose of making her shine even brighter than before.

This is a realization I got - like so many other things - from my dearly departed father.

11 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. My mom walked out on my family last June to be with her new boyfriend and "start her life" but still expects me to call her and love her like nothing happened. Yeah, no thanks.

    I hope you're doing well. <3

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  2. ...this is so sad, my dear Avy. A daughter should not be feeling anything like that... A mother should NOT make her daughter feel anything like that... I hope you'll feel okay soon.

    *hugs

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  3. Hope you find some truth somewhere on your trip.

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  4. I love your writing, I just followed your blog.
    thanks for your comment, I will tell my babies next time I'll shoot some photos, haha.. xx

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  5. the way you blog is beautiful(:
    you make me smile♥

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  6. Thx for comment, You`ve great blog :)

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  7. zapraszam do mnie :
    http://arynsa-arynsa.blogspot.com/
    fajny blog :)

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  8. great writing keep up the good work

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  9. everything you write is so deep :)



    my blog: http://urbanfluorescence.blogspot.com/

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