Monday, January 10, 2011

It's all in your head

He could never remember when it was that he started seeing himself as an outcast, but the feeling grew inside him from early on. He tried to pin it to various traumatic incidents - the family being evicted from their house, his father committing suicide, or just failing to concentrate in school - but never found a valid explanation. The strangest part is that he was always loved. He had no reason for feeling unwanted or taunted, but he did anyway. When a destructive idea got into his head, it stayed there and wouldn't leave until it had caused enough pain and suffering. He had to live with that, no matter how hard it seemed.


  1. It's funny the way an idea can get in your head and change who you are. Right about when I was 12 or so I got it in my head that I was this introverted quiet guy. I stayed that way till I was 16 or so. I guess I wouldn't to be mysterious or something, but I like talking so now I do it more.

  2. This is sad. I know the feeling. xo

  3. I just started reading your blog.. This entry especially struck a nerve with me. I can relate to the self-inflicted misery despite being loved. Am I afraid to embrace joy and happiness because I know it will easily slip away again?