I remembered how we talked about butterflies. I never thought he could look vulnerable, but sitting there across the table after I told him we were through, he reminded me of my childhood. It stung my heart thinking of all the little winged creatures I destroyed because they were beautiful, the once that didn't get away. He did. He was about to be released, and I was about to let him fly away from me. I wanted so badly to stop him, to cut his wings and make him stay with me, but he was never mine to keep. I couldn't own him without killing him, and for the sake of everything but myself, I knew I could never do that. So I set him free.
I tried to keep calm, but realizing what was about to happen made me shiver. It was the strangest sensation, I wanted to scream out loud or break into little pieces or just about anything, but my whole system was paralyzed. I cried silently and said I can't feel anything. He took my hand in his, felt my pulse and said, smiling:
...but at least you're alive.
Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteYes, you sometimes must let things go, even the ones you love the most...because you have to let them fly.
xx,
~Abby~
you left him to save him? my tear ducts get such a workout on your blog. so beautiful xxx
ReplyDeleteYour prose is so eloquent and beautiful...
ReplyDeletebeautiful. I want to say something but I can think of nothing to say. oh, I have given you a sunshine award, see my blog for the details, and I hope you're okay lovely, x.
ReplyDeleteaww. The last line got me...
ReplyDeleteyou are amazing!
ReplyDeletebut to everyone who has an eating disorder (including me)
Rosa Heart the owner of this blog
http://aperfectsatisfaction.blogspot.com/?zx=992c927f2e0f0bf3
died on april 19th. her mom posted on her blog saying what happened. we need to be careful, we can't put our parents through that.