I never understood how people in general deal with death, how they talk about heaven and a chance to meet again. I never got the point with all those ceremonies and gatherings and I don't see how it could ever be possible to find any peace. My guess is they're all cheap excuses for denying the inevitable. Maybe it's just in the human nature to fantasize and dream up stories that comfort us when nothing seems to make any sense.
I turned to him, my first and only love, because I needed him. He had no clichés, no advices, just a warm and welcoming embrace. Amidst my never-ending tears I said why didn't I call her more often and he said she knew you loved her. Of course he didn't know anything about her, but he said the right things, the things I wanted to hear.
He made that harsh non-winter winter in cold, distant LA a little easier, and I think that's why we became swing sets in the park, porcelain hands and talk about butterflies that following spring.
it is amazing how certain people know just the right words in the right moments, words that may not be the 100% true but they're exactly what we need to hear.
ReplyDelete(and as for ppl dealing with death, heaven and such, I think it IS in our nature to make up religions and the whole afterlife thing. Sometimes I see how it makes ppl lazy in this life because they think they don't need to try so hard since they're going to have an eternity for themselves anyway)
wow, that's a long comment :)
I think its easier to say "I'll see them again in heaven" than it is to completely break down at the funeral with grief. It's a way to keep sanity when facing great loss and allows you to save the break down for when you get home, when you have time and less people worrying about you to really vent it all out.
ReplyDeleteI've never understood our willingness to console and hide ourselves from death, it's like we make jokes and talk of heaven to hide from the truth that the end's coming to all of us...it's not like it makes much difference in the end. It can't bring them back, it can't bring him or her or them back to us. I guess it takes coming close to dying to see how frightening it is, an experience I'm not keen to repeat in a hurry. Take care, x
ReplyDeleteI think it's a lot easier for us to think our loved ones are still alive somewhere-anywhere- than for them to be gone completely.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad he helped you then, but is he helping you now?
xx,
~Abby~
I'm sorry about your friend.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, some people just know the right things to say at the right time.
I can't wait to read more.
xo.
I never understood it either. people just want a way to feel close again to someone who is never going to be there.
ReplyDeletesome people know exactly what to say, at the right times, and you find yourself falling for them, as they know exactly what to do, even if it's not always the right thing.
This is a great piece...Sorry, but I am a lil offended at the comment above "Makin up religons". I consider myself religous. All I have to say is that "It is written" God's promises are stated in the bible and thats all the proof I need. He shows me His Word is truth so I believe in Heaven and Hell and the afterlife and all that...That gives me comfort....
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry, avy.
ReplyDeletei hate it when people tell you how to be sad.
i hope you feel better.
Hey Avy!!
ReplyDeleteLets just say sirens and everything that goes with it were a part of my past. Although catagorized by three types it drove me to see everything non-imaginable, believe me. There are no rights or wrongs in dealing with a loss Avy, if anything you absorb the gift of the friendship that was and not wanting be like the coldest shoulder of sorts...one needs to move on.
Paragraph 3 speaks volumes Avy as I'm about "don't tell me, show me". In your case your boyfriend confronted you with both (tell and show) rather than with the ever so constant coulda, woulda, shoulda.
p.s. I am not a Doctor Avy nor have I ever played one on t.v.
R
heartbreak is hell and losing people in the physical leaves a hole in your heart that will never be healed. time. it just takes time. i'm sorry you are going through all of this.
ReplyDeletexxx
t
Heartbreake is awful hun and losing a friend is so much more painful. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this,):
ReplyDelete-Xoxo
Brooklynn
Sorry for you,
ReplyDeleteBut ,I think u shud take it the way u feel comfort most-
Really i dont think blaming religion is right-different people have theri own way to deal with their sadness...me too find peace beliving in what my religion teaches me...but if other people dont want to believe in Heaven, or what so ever...They shoudnt really give comment in such harsh way, after all...if u really belive that this short life ended with no heaven or hell or what so ever that u dont believe in,...then you shouldnt be sad too long-unless it gives you strenght to carry on life-which i cant comprehends thats why some people rather choose to belive in their religion.AND-THEY ARE NOT LAZY!