she's lost control
Confusion is like breaking your favorite glass figurine. No matter how it happened you still have to gather all the pieces, like those of your shattered mind, and try to glue them back together. With a little luck, you won't lose too much in the end, only the feeling of completeness.
Valentine's day ended with just that kind of confusion, and I still don't know what I'll stand to lose from it. I thought I knew exactly where I had him, that I could read him like an open book and would never be surprised by anything he would be capable of doing. Then this happens, and suddenly I lost my balance. The worst thing is that I never saw it coming, and now I feel as if I'm no longer in control.
How I hate that feeling.
You expressed exactly what happened to me last night. Absolute confusion. Utter confusion.
ReplyDeleteIt takes your breath away, just like the moment something like a glass figurine breaks. Your mind frenzies in a race of adrenaline and sadness
I think I know exactly how you feel.
This is really good metaphor becaue no matter how meticulously the pieces are glued together you can always notice it's been broken. And no matter how well you gather yourself after such confusion, there's always this awereness that sth was wrong therefore things cannot be as perfect as they'd been before. Great post
ReplyDeleteOoooh, it's not good in any way, shape or form to let the guy have control...and that's because most of my species are assholes...
ReplyDeletePeople can always surprise you, no matter how well you know them. I think we all learn that the hard way. And sometimes, we're the ones being surprising.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of the opposite for me. I like confusion. I find I get kind of bored once I get a person completely figured out. Might be a gender difference, or ADD.
ReplyDeleteyou are a really good writer. im serious your blog is like amazing.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling this way as well...I wonder if its because VDay just passed and that is a day of love...and when we dont get what we want or expect and not talkin about materials possesions...but all want love expressed and when we dont get that the way we want we feel unloved...But it sounds like a lil more took place...Doesnt sound good at all...I wish you all the best! whatever it is, it is happening for a reason...When one door closes, another opens
ReplyDeleteyou never tryuly know someone, as, you never truly know yourself. so, how can you expect to know someone if you don't know yourself.
ReplyDeletethey will always find something which throws you off guard.
it's completely confusing.
your right, you just wrote it so much more beautifully than I ever could.
people confuse me.
Hey Avy!!
ReplyDelete...........confused/control,
May it have been a mirror in lieu of. Oh reckless abandon like no one's watching you, and where each shard piece is the refraction of a reflection that represents (a moment, a love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs. We won't stop til it's over, won't stop to surrender)
"Sweet Disposition"?!
The posted picture is pretty dope Avy!
R
I know that feeling all too well. Worst thing is, I have to pretend I don't feel like I just fell off of a sidewalk and still have to act/pretend like I'm still in control.
ReplyDeleteI have a little something for you over at my blog!
ReplyDeletexo
http://michelleenders.blogspot.com/2010/02/im-little-late-on-thisthank-you.html
i'm never in control.
ReplyDeletei can see why you hate the feeling.
You've been so very honest so in turn I offer this my truth. I'm easy, quick to laugh and unconcerned with control until I've lost it so I'm rooting for you to regain your centre.
ReplyDeleteWarm regards,
Simone
i've been derailing my thoughts with copious amounts of david bowie lately
ReplyDeletehe has magical healing powers
Avy, you're amazing.
ReplyDeleteI can't get enough of your writing!
Lots of love and hugs xo
i read this post this morning but didn't comment and it's honestly been in the back of my mind all day. there is a subtle beauty to your writing that matures with age. fuck, sounds like i'm writing about cheese. i swear your blog is better than cheese. although cheese is pretty damn good, especially french cheese. so i guess that's saying something.
ReplyDeleteanyway lately i have been feeling like my insides are made of thin glass, a glass cavern with thin glass stalactites and stalagmites, and glass organs and cold blue blood in glass veins. and if you touch me wrong i will shatter. your post made me think of this. or this made me think of your post, i'm not sure.
either way i'm thinking about Tennessee Williams which makes me mad because i absolutely hate him and detest that play especially, but i rather like the image of shattered glass figurines, so i think i will try to supplant your words about them over the image in my mind from The Glass Menagerie, and then i can relax and stop cursing T. Williams and have beautiful Avy-metaphors taking up that valuable real estate in my brain instead.
uhh maybe i am going crazy? sorry. it's been one of those days. i hope you are having a better one. confusion sucks but at least it's mildly entertaining.
xx x
you can write your emotions really good!
ReplyDeleteyah, i was thinking about doing my blog in english, i think i will do that in 13 days, because then i'm fifteen years old yeah. i'm not very good in english, but it will be okay, i think ;p
xx
hi! thanks for the nice comment on my blog :)
ReplyDeletei like reading your thoughts on your blog
i'm a follower now, wanna be mine too?
have a nice day!
x
la fille
pretty picture, love the lighting.
ReplyDeleteIt happens, that people we trust, people who we care for and think care for us do irrational acts, or use us and discard us, and it is a terribly confusing thing.
ReplyDeleteSecretia
your words are full of emotions.. better times will come for sure..these losses, confusions, are what make us grow, mature and learn about life ... keep the good things this is giving to you. :**
ReplyDeleteAww thank you! I like your blog :)
ReplyDeletei feel this week the same confusion
ReplyDeleteMy panties? really? I think that you are getting confused with my tights haha, thanks anyway.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, lovely text.