On love - Part I

He wants me to love him selflessly, but I already know where that road ends. I've been there before with someone else and I never want to walk down it ever again, the way I did through that one year of three seasons. Seen from a distance it feels like another life, but what happened back then, the first and only time I've been in love, still has repercussions for how I function.

***

He was a year older than me and wore his heart like a valuable secret. It's still amazes me how we held out as long as we did, but I guess the self-inflicted pain is the best way for us to know we're still alive. The wounds he gave me may not have left any scars, visible or hidden, but they made me numb and almost unable to hurt. You would maybe think that's a good thing, but in reality it means you'll do close to anything just to feel something, including self-destruction.

Miri introduced us. She knew him from before and said we were meant for each other. It turned out to be true for one of us.