Mother has these subtle ways of waking me up at ungodly hours. Putting on some music, "accidentally" banging the vacuum cleaner against my door, or letting the phone ring just a little longer than necessary. It's her way of saying I should get up and do something - whatever - whether I have anything scheduled or not. And more than that, it's her way of saying I should make plans for my future and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. She doesn't like to say it to my face, and knowing myself I probably wouldn't listen even if she did. So she tells me by sending elusive but evident signals, making me read between the lines in an all too assertive body of text.
It's not that I don't have plans. I do, and I literally think about them all the time. It's just that standing at the crossroads can be so immensely intimidating. If someone ever tells you that choosing paths means having the adventure of a lifetime ahead of you and that you should feel blessed for all the wonderful opportunities out there, they're lying. Leaving everything you know and love behind to enter the unknown is nothing but painful. So every now and then I try not to speak, move or even breathe in the hope that maybe nothing will change if I keep quiet and still in my little dollhouse bedroom.
It never works, of course. For all the time I try to hold my breath, all I can hear and think of is the clocks ticking away the hours, minutes and seconds of the present day.
Tick tock tick tock
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ReplyDeletegraca
No, I'm not American. :)) And still, fat people are everywhere, you should see our fat people...:)) Anyhow, that post wasn't actually about fat people, it was intended to look like it, but I'm complaining about something else. ;))
ReplyDeleteYeah, my mom's no different than your mom. :-? She's using the same "strategies" which totally piss me off. :)) But, oh well...what can you do? :-?
Plans, plans, plans....eventually most of your plans will be foiled by something or someone. It's great to have a little sketch in your mind, an idea, but further planning is completely and utterly useless. :)) They can change from minute to minute.
I wanted to study Journalism at my University (this is what I wanted two years before finishing high-school), but with exactly five days before registering to the University I had a slight change of heart.....so I ended in the Chinese department. :))
Plans? Let's just see what happens...
P.S. Great blog. Hands-up for it. :D
It is true. I agree with Doppelganger. "Further planning is completely and utterly useless". From my experiences anyway...
ReplyDeleteMy mum bumps the vacuum too to wake me up.
ReplyDeleteShe also barges in loudly, opens the curtains and leaves my door open to noise when I'm trying to catch up on my 40-frikken-winks.
On top of that - she is queen on emotional blackmail.
I feel ya, hun.
I do.
They just want to teach you how to behave with your future kids. :))
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time picturing your mother using a vacuum.
ReplyDelete